Ear Piercing

I did not realize what a heated subject ear piercing is until I started discussing piercing M's ears. One friend declared that piercing a baby's ears is desecrating her body without her permission. At a baby's first birthday party, the grandmother who has never met M looked at her and bluntly asked me why I pierced my daughter's ears. Wow! What to say to such an obvious judgement?

I spent quite a bit of time debating whether or not to pierce M's ears. I surveyed everybody I know as to what their reasons were for or against piercing. Those who were against piercing basically felt that the decision should be left to the child and when she is old enough to ask for pierced ears, mom would take her to get them pierced. The other common theme amongst the naysayers was the idea that piercing ears is a mother-daughter bonding moment that is cherished by both for a lifetime.

I asked my own mother why she decided to wait until I was 8 yrs to pierce my ears. Her response was simple: nobody pierced their baby's ears at that time. Well, I don't remember the actual piercing of my ears. But, I remember them getting infected. I remember my mother trying to clean the pus out every night and dropping earrings down the drain in the bathroom. I remember when my mother took me to the doctor and I had a meltdown when the doctor showed me the HUGE syringe he wanted to stick in my ears to drain the pus. I remember being given the choice of either letting the doctor stick the syringe in my ears or letting the piercings close up. I chose the latter. My eight year old mind was never going to allow a syringe near my ears.

I chose to pierce my daughter's ears as a gift to her. I didn't want her to remember any pain associated with ear piercing. After all, I have never met a girl who regretted having her ears pierced. However, I have met lots of girls who want and wish their ears were pierced.

I took M. to the mall with her father when she was 5.5 months old. I had gone to the mall earlier in the week with M. and watched a couple of children get their ears pierced. The girl who was about 8 took it like a trooper. The baby, who was probably about 1-1.5 yrs cried and I watched as her mother wiped the tears off of her face. I did not think I was strong enough to do this alone. M.'s father videoed the event. The lady at the mall was going to have her colleague pierce one ear while she pierced the other one simultaneously. However, M. was so wiggly that the mall said that she would just pierce one ear at a time. She also told me that I was not allowed to pick M. up and comfort her between ears. Heartbreaking.

M. sat on my lap for the piercings. She cried after her first ear was pierced and continued to cry until after the second one was done and I was able to comfort her. I had a bottle prepared for the occasion so I could offer her a little bit of bottle comfort after her trauma. It worked. Her ears were tender for about an hour and then M. was back to normal. I have to clean her ears twice a day for the next 8 weeks. She absolutely loves when I touch her ears and clean them. Usually, she is wiggling around on the change table, trying to roll over and grab anything and everything. Yet, when I show her the q-tip and alcohol, she stops writhing around and patiently waits for me to clean her ears. It is so validating. Her earrings look beautiful and M. will not have any memory of the trauma of the piercing. I am so glad that I made this decision to pierce her ears.