My daughter started religious school once a month in September. The first day was my worst fears for M. coming true. The director, with whom I shared M's health issues and the need for a gluten free environment had somehow not imparted this knowledge onto the classroom teacher. Apparently,the teacher had to leave orietation early and clearly, she did not read her binder. When I dropped M. off and advised the teacher that she had gluten free offerings in her bag to substitute for the food being provided for the ceremonious foods, the teacher looked at me blankly. After explaining M' dietary and health issuesto a now very nervous teacher (and in front of other parents) I made my way to the Director's office to have another discussion. There, I discovered that the grape juice, which I had been told would likely be gluten free, was in reality not gluten free. Well, off I did trott back to the classroom to tell my daughter not to drink the juice. When I got there, I found all of the kids sitting at a table doing a Playdough activity while my daughter sat on the floor by herself. I was shocked! Playdough is made with flour so it is a contraband. But, what really shocked me is my 4 yr old knew not to touch it and chose to sit away from the group. My little social butterfly hates being away from the other kids. And she LOVES (gluten free) playdough. She made me so proud for making such a tough choice! Some more hastily and carefully chosen words and the now extremely nervous teacher was ending the activity and washing everyone's hands.
Well, here we are with class #3 approaching and I got a call from the teacher. She wants to make latkes (potato pancakes) and bring them into the classroom for the kids. She asked how to make them and her homemade applesauce (mmm, yummy!) gluten free. She even invited me into the classroom for the last few minutes of the class to eat a latke with the kids so M. sees that this is a safe space for her. Such progress! Whether this was the teacher's or dierector's idea, I care not! I think it is fabulous! I even offered to bring our wooden Channukah set that cannot be bought in stores to show the other kids. The teacher loved the idea! I am so pleased that an initial disaster can be turned into a collaborative approach to creating a safe and warm learning environment for M. Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
For astute readers of my last post, you will notice that I stated that M has been hospitalized 6 times, but I only shared 5 incidences Well, admission #6 was this summer. I will never forget the date --July 15, 2013. She had contracted pneumonia in June so we did not do much for the first bit of summer. Once she was feeling better, I decided that our family should go to the beach--Baby E's first trip to the beach and a fave destination for M. After much ado, we decided to drive to one about an hour away with another couple and their baby in tow. We were there for about an hour when I realized M. was just lying on our blanket, not doing much. She was not interested in building sand castles or swimming with mommy, two activities that are usually show stoppers. M. stated she did not feel good, ended up throwing up and progressively got more and more ill within a span of a very short time. As we were rushing to the hospial (with me smelling like vomit--bringing back such vivid memories) Mikah's eyes closed and I was unable to rouse her. Just as I had hubby pulling to the side of the road to call the paramedics she finally woke, but barely.
In the emergency room, she was triaged as #2 in the priority line--behind a guy who had fallen off a ladder, landed on his back and his feet were now tingling. Hmmm...I was OK with home going ahead of us. Throughout this very brief span of time, I had assessed (and googled) that M had appendicitis. The hospital personnel were a little skeptical of this mommy diagnosis as it is highly unusal for a 4 yr old to have appendicitis. Also, it is supposedly excruciatingly painful when the dr palpates (pushes down on) your belly if you have appendicits. When Mikah's belly was palpated, she just flinched. However, the x-ray showed an inflamed appendix. Just call me Dr. Mom. They wanted to operate on her in this small-ish hospital as after all, 20% of their surgeries are on peds. Umm, doesn't that mean that 80% of their surgeries are NOT on peds? Hullo? Also, um, they wanted to use instruments that were too big for her as they did not have pediatric sized surgical instruments. Hullo?! I insisted she be transferred to the children's hosptial int he city (Normally about a 2 hour drive with good traffic). The emerg doc did not like this and voiced his not-so-welcome opinion loud and clear to me.
The ambulance transfer was arranged extremely quickly (she was not stable enough to airlift as her appendix could have ruptured). With lights and sirens blaring we were off, while my precious little girl was stoned on 1.5 mg of morphone and clutching the gift bag that I had hurriedly grabbed at the gift shop. Shockingly, she still remembers watching Finding Nemo on the paramadic's cell phone during that ambulance ride. How?! I experineced a trauma in that ambulance as we drove down the shoulder of the highway all the way to the city. As we passed through neighborhood where I grew up, the ambulance had to come to a full stop as the cross traffic would not yield to it. Are you kidding? Where does anyone have to go that is more important than getting a patient to the hospital in the back of an ambulance. I will never forget looking out the front window watching the traffic drive in front of the ambulance, holding my breath that my precious girl's appendix did not burst. To this day, I have flashbacks when I hear sirens.
We made it to the Children's Hospital in one hour--during rush hour. She was under the knife within hours of her arrival. Discharged the next day. In between, she got lots of freezies, attention from child life specialists, volunteers, and lots of souvenirs to bring home including stuffed animals. I wish I could say that is the end of that chapter of her story, but alas, it was not meant to be..
Wow! It has been 3 yrs since I have last posted on this blog! In all honesty, in the midst of all of the chaos, I forgot about this blog. Actually, I was considering starting a new one in the past few weeks, with no recollection of my previous blogging. So imagine my surprise when I looked onto blogspot to look at my daughter's classroom blog to find my handle and blog! Rather ironic...To catch you up on the last 3 yrs, M has now been hospitalized 6 times (and you wonder how I could forget about a blog?!)--3 for Celiac Dx (hark--a diagnosis!), one for food poisening and another one for pneumonia--all before the age of 2 ys. Reckoning that all of this chaos was behind us, since M is now 4 yrs and has not needed a serious medical intervention since the occupational therapist was discharged at about age 2.5 yrs, life marched on. I had another baby--on the same date that I had M, no less! They are three years and one hours apart. He was a planned c-section (if you have read my previous post on the birth of M you totally understand why) and I was negotiating his delivery date with the OB. She wanted to do the c-section the day after M's birthday. I just figured 2 kids in 2 days forever more--the birthday madness might kill me. So the OB rescheduled the surgery for the following week. Then, I went into labor. However, it did not hurt, so I actually thought the contractions were Braxton Hicks and went to bed. They (whoever they are) weren't kidding when they said induction hurts a heck of a lot more than a natural birth. When the contractions woke me at 3am, I knew it was the real deal. My bag was not even packed this time as I was not scheduled for my c-section for another week. Nothing like breathing through a contraction while instructing the hubby what to put in your bag. An hour later (we had to wait for the grandparents to come and take care of M.), we were on the way to the hospital (a 30+ minute drive) with the contractions 5 minutes apart.
As I discovered after my first c-section, I am allergic to tape. I was given an allergy band which was then cut off by the nurse who was going to insert the IV into the same hand. However, she did not read it before she cut it off. My hubby stopped her from putting the tape on me when it was less than an inch from my skin--thank-goodness!! I have enough scarring from the tape they put on me the last delivery....Well, my beautiful baby boy was born at 6 lbs, 11oz. I had a nurese in the recovery room who understood Fibromyalgia and I got stellar after care, unlike my first experience which was at what was supposedly the top birthing hospital in the country...However, when I managed to rip my c-section when I bent down to talk to M., I had no medical support from the hospital. I ended up being chauffered to the GP every 5 days for Oxycontin as the pain is excruciating. Since there was recently a change in legislation, I could only get 5 days worth at a time. Sigh....After 2 wks of this schlepping, I just got fed up and stopped taking it cold turkey. Oops! I learned the hard way that you can be physically addicted, without the psychological addiction. I had the shakes, the sweats, ---detox hell.
But, once again, all worth it in the end.
As I discovered after my first c-section, I am allergic to tape. I was given an allergy band which was then cut off by the nurse who was going to insert the IV into the same hand. However, she did not read it before she cut it off. My hubby stopped her from putting the tape on me when it was less than an inch from my skin--thank-goodness!! I have enough scarring from the tape they put on me the last delivery....Well, my beautiful baby boy was born at 6 lbs, 11oz. I had a nurese in the recovery room who understood Fibromyalgia and I got stellar after care, unlike my first experience which was at what was supposedly the top birthing hospital in the country...However, when I managed to rip my c-section when I bent down to talk to M., I had no medical support from the hospital. I ended up being chauffered to the GP every 5 days for Oxycontin as the pain is excruciating. Since there was recently a change in legislation, I could only get 5 days worth at a time. Sigh....After 2 wks of this schlepping, I just got fed up and stopped taking it cold turkey. Oops! I learned the hard way that you can be physically addicted, without the psychological addiction. I had the shakes, the sweats, ---detox hell.
But, once again, all worth it in the end.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Hospital
Well, every new mommy worries about their baby. Is she eating too much? Is she eating too little? Why won't the pediatrician listen to my concerns? My worst fear came true when my daughter was hospitalized. I had taken her to the emergency room at out local children's hospital on the Tuesday due to diarrhea and vomiting (wow--who knew how much can come out of such a little belly???). They sent her home saying it was viral. We missed M's much coveted allergist appointment to go the emergency room. And we got no advice out of it except to continue feeding her a normal diet. The emerg physician was quite empathetic though. His 2 yr old had been on a feeding tube for 6 mts and the doctors could not help him, either. The dr finally took his son off of wheat and his issues resoleved. Hmmm. But, he could not help M. Hmmm.... I took her to the specialist the next day who recommended admitting M to the children's ward of the hospital. I could not help myself, I started to cry. The doctor advised me to put M. on a hypoallergenic, pre-digested formula and perhaps a miracle would happen and she would not need to be admitted. I said I preferred that option, hoping for the miracle. Well, M. stopped eating the next day and barely drank the formula. Two days later, she was admitted to the hospital as a crisis admit with dehydration and lethargy. My baby was put on an IV and subjected to all sorts of intrusive tests. The good newz is, all the really scary stuff was ruled out. She was put on two medications for reflux, the working theory of diagnosis. However, after the 4th resident took her history from me yet again, they realized that there may be a family history of gluten intolerance.
Fat malabsorption (the lack of absorption of the vitamins, minerals and nutrients in your food, due to a variety of causes, one of which is celiac disease) still needs to be ruled out. Since M. had reacted to barley cereal (barley has gluten) I had taken it out of her diet. So, after the doctors all concluded that I can feed her wheat/gluten for a day before giving her the blood test and me arguing with them that she needs a build-up of gluten in her system for a positive test, it was decided to give her the blood test in about a month, as an out-patient. The doctors also still believe that M. has allergies, but they would not do the testing in the hospital. Her out-patient appt is next week. Interesting theories, since I took M. to the pediatrician months ago concerned she had reflux. He would not even discuss it. M. is fine, is what he said. I took M. back to the pediatrician and told him I think she has allergies. M. is fine, is how he responded. He advised that allergy testing cannot be done before a child is two yrs. Interesting, since she is being tested next week at 8 mts of age.
Since discharge, M. is a different little girl. She smiles all the time. No more hours of crying, arching her back, eating massive amounts of food, diarrhea or vomiting. Developmentally, she is making leaps and bounds. She now says mama, stands and is trying to both crawl and walk. I am very angry that M. had to suffer for so long before I found a doctor that believed me and was willing to try and diagnose M. I suspect M. was in a lot more pain that anyone realized. Yesterday, someone said that M. just looks so much more relaxed now. To think, she could have been happy, relaxed and pain-free at only a few months old if only....
I have learned so much from this experience:
1) When the going gets rough, you really see who cares about you and your family.
2) It is important to have a support circle, and accept help such as offers of food and company.
3) Mommy knows best! If you think there is an issue with your child, don't stop until you find someone who will listen to you. If the pediatrician won't listen, go to your family doctor. If the family doctor won't listen, to to a walk-in clinic. There are even children's walk-in clinics!!! The one in Toronto, ON is at 1100 Sheppard Ave, near Leslie.
4) If you child is ill, the first inclination is to take him/her to the local children's hospital. Well, all of the sickest of children go there too, so your child will be prioritized accordingly. If you take your child to a regular hospital, your child may get priority status just for being a child. M. was admitted to a non-children's hospital and got excellent care.
5) You need to be your child's case manager. Keep a log of all your concerns on a day-to-day basis ie how much and what child has eaten, how many times and how much your child has pooped/peed, any behaviours, etc. Keep a list of all drs, trips to the emergency room, medications and dosages. Always carry it with you. I use a little notebook I got at the dollar store. Don't expect the doctor(s) to coordinate baby's care.
6) When your child is always not feeling well, it is difficult to ascertain what is a behaviour and what is just your child's temperament. If your child seems unhappy a lot, ie crying, vomitting, etc. don't just assume it is colic or her temperament. Rule out any possible medical issues.
Fat malabsorption (the lack of absorption of the vitamins, minerals and nutrients in your food, due to a variety of causes, one of which is celiac disease) still needs to be ruled out. Since M. had reacted to barley cereal (barley has gluten) I had taken it out of her diet. So, after the doctors all concluded that I can feed her wheat/gluten for a day before giving her the blood test and me arguing with them that she needs a build-up of gluten in her system for a positive test, it was decided to give her the blood test in about a month, as an out-patient. The doctors also still believe that M. has allergies, but they would not do the testing in the hospital. Her out-patient appt is next week. Interesting theories, since I took M. to the pediatrician months ago concerned she had reflux. He would not even discuss it. M. is fine, is what he said. I took M. back to the pediatrician and told him I think she has allergies. M. is fine, is how he responded. He advised that allergy testing cannot be done before a child is two yrs. Interesting, since she is being tested next week at 8 mts of age.
Since discharge, M. is a different little girl. She smiles all the time. No more hours of crying, arching her back, eating massive amounts of food, diarrhea or vomiting. Developmentally, she is making leaps and bounds. She now says mama, stands and is trying to both crawl and walk. I am very angry that M. had to suffer for so long before I found a doctor that believed me and was willing to try and diagnose M. I suspect M. was in a lot more pain that anyone realized. Yesterday, someone said that M. just looks so much more relaxed now. To think, she could have been happy, relaxed and pain-free at only a few months old if only....
I have learned so much from this experience:
1) When the going gets rough, you really see who cares about you and your family.
2) It is important to have a support circle, and accept help such as offers of food and company.
3) Mommy knows best! If you think there is an issue with your child, don't stop until you find someone who will listen to you. If the pediatrician won't listen, go to your family doctor. If the family doctor won't listen, to to a walk-in clinic. There are even children's walk-in clinics!!! The one in Toronto, ON is at 1100 Sheppard Ave, near Leslie.
4) If you child is ill, the first inclination is to take him/her to the local children's hospital. Well, all of the sickest of children go there too, so your child will be prioritized accordingly. If you take your child to a regular hospital, your child may get priority status just for being a child. M. was admitted to a non-children's hospital and got excellent care.
5) You need to be your child's case manager. Keep a log of all your concerns on a day-to-day basis ie how much and what child has eaten, how many times and how much your child has pooped/peed, any behaviours, etc. Keep a list of all drs, trips to the emergency room, medications and dosages. Always carry it with you. I use a little notebook I got at the dollar store. Don't expect the doctor(s) to coordinate baby's care.
6) When your child is always not feeling well, it is difficult to ascertain what is a behaviour and what is just your child's temperament. If your child seems unhappy a lot, ie crying, vomitting, etc. don't just assume it is colic or her temperament. Rule out any possible medical issues.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Next Specialist...
Wow! My poor darling! So far, she has been to her pediatrician, the GP, the pediatric consultant, pediatric gastro-enterologist and now to a dr with a specialty in nutrition. Whew! I am exhausted just thinking about it, but I am so thankful that I have been persistent throughout all of these "professionals" telling me that my daughter is OK. M is not "sick". However, she also not healthy and as her mother, who sees her every day, all day (and night!), I think these professionals need to acknowledge that perhaps mother DOES know best.
So, armed with the the knowledge that I might possibly know what I am talking about when it comes to my daughter, I nervously hauled her to the next specialist. I was having a bad day, so, at the last minute, I asked my husband to come with us to the pediatrician with the speciality in nutrition who I'll just call the MD/nutrition. Thank goodness my husband was there! M decided to have a meltdown in the office, which was fantastic! The dr got to see her arching her back, spitting up, crying inconsolably and eating constantly! We first saw the dietitian before the MD/nutrition who could not believe how much M ate in one sitting. She actually broke her own record this morning. She ate the full double jar (toddler sized) of squash, a quarter jar of the step 1 peas, 10 tablespoons of cereal and a few tablespoons of quinoa!!!! Whoa, mama!!!! The appointment was chaotic with M's constant upset, dietitian coming in and out of the room, MD/nutritionist answering his phone throughout and the student observing and receiving instructions throughout!!!
Well, not only did I feel heard at this appointment, but this doctor came up with a plan and some possible diagnosis. Eureka! He advised that :
1) It might be reflux (too much stomach acid and the food comes back up in the form of throw-up, causes gassiness, respiratory issues and hours of screaming).
2) It might be fat malabsorption (not sure what this is yet--still have to research it--in my spare time).
3) He is referring her to an allergist. I'm very satisfied that referral is being made. I have been asking her pediatrician for this referral for a months, but he kept saying she is too young. This is NOT true. Babies CAN be tested for allergies.
4) I asked him for a referral to a new pediatrician. One that will LISTEN and BELIEVE me when I express concern for my child. He agreed to do so. I have been exploring possible pediatricians on my own, but it is hard to get into a new one without a referral.
5) The dietitian is analyzing the recipe for the homemade formula. It is due to the homemade formula that the gastroenterologist was so concerned ie that M. is getting enough calories and macronutrients. The MD/Nutritionist is concerned about M getting either too much of or not enough of something in this formula. From my observations and the observations of other people who regularly see M, she has been thriving since introducing homemade formula. Her behaviours and issues have been significantly reduced with the homemade formula. However, with the introduction of solids, some of the behaviours/issues returned. I expect the analysis to come back with positive reviews, but I am prepared to hear of any concerns.
From this experience I have learned the following:
1) When the primary caregiver has a concern about baby, the concern is REAL. DO NOT allow a pediatrician or any other person talk you out of being concerned and insisting that your concern be looked into by the appropriate professional. If the pediatrician won't listen, talk baby to a GP. If the GP won't listen, take baby to a walk-in clinic. I had expressed concerns to the pediatrician months ago that M might have reflux and he would not even entertain the idea of considering this possibility.
2) When taking baby to a specialist, bring another adult to care for baby while you are talking to the specialist. Bring a pen and a notebook to keep an ongoing log of visits, specialists, etc.
3) Keep an ongoing log of concerns, from birth to present, including mom's prenatal history.
4) Look at mom and dad's family history. The MD/Nutritionist asked if I or my husband's family have a history of reflux. My father and brother both have reflux. My husband has heartburn. Even if the doctor does not ask (none of the other specialists asked for family history), offer this info.
5) Ask for feedback from those adults who regularly see your child. Do they see the same concerns? This is important for you to feel supported and validated in your concerns for your child.
So, armed with the the knowledge that I might possibly know what I am talking about when it comes to my daughter, I nervously hauled her to the next specialist. I was having a bad day, so, at the last minute, I asked my husband to come with us to the pediatrician with the speciality in nutrition who I'll just call the MD/nutrition. Thank goodness my husband was there! M decided to have a meltdown in the office, which was fantastic! The dr got to see her arching her back, spitting up, crying inconsolably and eating constantly! We first saw the dietitian before the MD/nutrition who could not believe how much M ate in one sitting. She actually broke her own record this morning. She ate the full double jar (toddler sized) of squash, a quarter jar of the step 1 peas, 10 tablespoons of cereal and a few tablespoons of quinoa!!!! Whoa, mama!!!! The appointment was chaotic with M's constant upset, dietitian coming in and out of the room, MD/nutritionist answering his phone throughout and the student observing and receiving instructions throughout!!!
Well, not only did I feel heard at this appointment, but this doctor came up with a plan and some possible diagnosis. Eureka! He advised that :
1) It might be reflux (too much stomach acid and the food comes back up in the form of throw-up, causes gassiness, respiratory issues and hours of screaming).
2) It might be fat malabsorption (not sure what this is yet--still have to research it--in my spare time).
3) He is referring her to an allergist. I'm very satisfied that referral is being made. I have been asking her pediatrician for this referral for a months, but he kept saying she is too young. This is NOT true. Babies CAN be tested for allergies.
4) I asked him for a referral to a new pediatrician. One that will LISTEN and BELIEVE me when I express concern for my child. He agreed to do so. I have been exploring possible pediatricians on my own, but it is hard to get into a new one without a referral.
5) The dietitian is analyzing the recipe for the homemade formula. It is due to the homemade formula that the gastroenterologist was so concerned ie that M. is getting enough calories and macronutrients. The MD/Nutritionist is concerned about M getting either too much of or not enough of something in this formula. From my observations and the observations of other people who regularly see M, she has been thriving since introducing homemade formula. Her behaviours and issues have been significantly reduced with the homemade formula. However, with the introduction of solids, some of the behaviours/issues returned. I expect the analysis to come back with positive reviews, but I am prepared to hear of any concerns.
From this experience I have learned the following:
1) When the primary caregiver has a concern about baby, the concern is REAL. DO NOT allow a pediatrician or any other person talk you out of being concerned and insisting that your concern be looked into by the appropriate professional. If the pediatrician won't listen, talk baby to a GP. If the GP won't listen, take baby to a walk-in clinic. I had expressed concerns to the pediatrician months ago that M might have reflux and he would not even entertain the idea of considering this possibility.
2) When taking baby to a specialist, bring another adult to care for baby while you are talking to the specialist. Bring a pen and a notebook to keep an ongoing log of visits, specialists, etc.
3) Keep an ongoing log of concerns, from birth to present, including mom's prenatal history.
4) Look at mom and dad's family history. The MD/Nutritionist asked if I or my husband's family have a history of reflux. My father and brother both have reflux. My husband has heartburn. Even if the doctor does not ask (none of the other specialists asked for family history), offer this info.
5) Ask for feedback from those adults who regularly see your child. Do they see the same concerns? This is important for you to feel supported and validated in your concerns for your child.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Ear Piercing
I did not realize what a heated subject ear piercing is until I started discussing piercing M's ears. One friend declared that piercing a baby's ears is desecrating her body without her permission. At a baby's first birthday party, the grandmother who has never met M looked at her and bluntly asked me why I pierced my daughter's ears. Wow! What to say to such an obvious judgement?
I spent quite a bit of time debating whether or not to pierce M's ears. I surveyed everybody I know as to what their reasons were for or against piercing. Those who were against piercing basically felt that the decision should be left to the child and when she is old enough to ask for pierced ears, mom would take her to get them pierced. The other common theme amongst the naysayers was the idea that piercing ears is a mother-daughter bonding moment that is cherished by both for a lifetime.
I asked my own mother why she decided to wait until I was 8 yrs to pierce my ears. Her response was simple: nobody pierced their baby's ears at that time. Well, I don't remember the actual piercing of my ears. But, I remember them getting infected. I remember my mother trying to clean the pus out every night and dropping earrings down the drain in the bathroom. I remember when my mother took me to the doctor and I had a meltdown when the doctor showed me the HUGE syringe he wanted to stick in my ears to drain the pus. I remember being given the choice of either letting the doctor stick the syringe in my ears or letting the piercings close up. I chose the latter. My eight year old mind was never going to allow a syringe near my ears.
I chose to pierce my daughter's ears as a gift to her. I didn't want her to remember any pain associated with ear piercing. After all, I have never met a girl who regretted having her ears pierced. However, I have met lots of girls who want and wish their ears were pierced.
I took M. to the mall with her father when she was 5.5 months old. I had gone to the mall earlier in the week with M. and watched a couple of children get their ears pierced. The girl who was about 8 took it like a trooper. The baby, who was probably about 1-1.5 yrs cried and I watched as her mother wiped the tears off of her face. I did not think I was strong enough to do this alone. M.'s father videoed the event. The lady at the mall was going to have her colleague pierce one ear while she pierced the other one simultaneously. However, M. was so wiggly that the mall said that she would just pierce one ear at a time. She also told me that I was not allowed to pick M. up and comfort her between ears. Heartbreaking.
M. sat on my lap for the piercings. She cried after her first ear was pierced and continued to cry until after the second one was done and I was able to comfort her. I had a bottle prepared for the occasion so I could offer her a little bit of bottle comfort after her trauma. It worked. Her ears were tender for about an hour and then M. was back to normal. I have to clean her ears twice a day for the next 8 weeks. She absolutely loves when I touch her ears and clean them. Usually, she is wiggling around on the change table, trying to roll over and grab anything and everything. Yet, when I show her the q-tip and alcohol, she stops writhing around and patiently waits for me to clean her ears. It is so validating. Her earrings look beautiful and M. will not have any memory of the trauma of the piercing. I am so glad that I made this decision to pierce her ears.
I spent quite a bit of time debating whether or not to pierce M's ears. I surveyed everybody I know as to what their reasons were for or against piercing. Those who were against piercing basically felt that the decision should be left to the child and when she is old enough to ask for pierced ears, mom would take her to get them pierced. The other common theme amongst the naysayers was the idea that piercing ears is a mother-daughter bonding moment that is cherished by both for a lifetime.
I asked my own mother why she decided to wait until I was 8 yrs to pierce my ears. Her response was simple: nobody pierced their baby's ears at that time. Well, I don't remember the actual piercing of my ears. But, I remember them getting infected. I remember my mother trying to clean the pus out every night and dropping earrings down the drain in the bathroom. I remember when my mother took me to the doctor and I had a meltdown when the doctor showed me the HUGE syringe he wanted to stick in my ears to drain the pus. I remember being given the choice of either letting the doctor stick the syringe in my ears or letting the piercings close up. I chose the latter. My eight year old mind was never going to allow a syringe near my ears.
I chose to pierce my daughter's ears as a gift to her. I didn't want her to remember any pain associated with ear piercing. After all, I have never met a girl who regretted having her ears pierced. However, I have met lots of girls who want and wish their ears were pierced.
I took M. to the mall with her father when she was 5.5 months old. I had gone to the mall earlier in the week with M. and watched a couple of children get their ears pierced. The girl who was about 8 took it like a trooper. The baby, who was probably about 1-1.5 yrs cried and I watched as her mother wiped the tears off of her face. I did not think I was strong enough to do this alone. M.'s father videoed the event. The lady at the mall was going to have her colleague pierce one ear while she pierced the other one simultaneously. However, M. was so wiggly that the mall said that she would just pierce one ear at a time. She also told me that I was not allowed to pick M. up and comfort her between ears. Heartbreaking.
M. sat on my lap for the piercings. She cried after her first ear was pierced and continued to cry until after the second one was done and I was able to comfort her. I had a bottle prepared for the occasion so I could offer her a little bit of bottle comfort after her trauma. It worked. Her ears were tender for about an hour and then M. was back to normal. I have to clean her ears twice a day for the next 8 weeks. She absolutely loves when I touch her ears and clean them. Usually, she is wiggling around on the change table, trying to roll over and grab anything and everything. Yet, when I show her the q-tip and alcohol, she stops writhing around and patiently waits for me to clean her ears. It is so validating. Her earrings look beautiful and M. will not have any memory of the trauma of the piercing. I am so glad that I made this decision to pierce her ears.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Visiting the Pediatric Gastro-Enterologist
Well, M was an angelic baby during the long visit to the gastro-enterologist. But the days since that visit have been no picnic. The crying and writhing in pain are back. She arches her back, which is a sign of belly pain. The flatulence abounds. My poor baby--I wish I could have a do-over with the gastro.
Today I spoke to my colleague at the hospital who covers the pediatric floor. I asked her if the hospital does pediatric EEGs (brain scan) as there is some mild concern that M. has seizure activity. Turns out that my colleagues son has epilepsy and at age 18 he still sees a pediatric neurologist who happens to do EEGs, too. Score! A recommendation based on the personal experience of a nurse--how much better can it get? So, I called back the gastro and gave her secretary the info of this dr so M can be referred to her. Unfortunately, the gastro is apparently going away for a week and today is her last day at work. It was a different secretary that I spoke to this time, so no guarantees were given around whether the requisition would be signed today or in a week.
However, my colleague admonished me for jumping the queue to get my daughter in to see the gastro. I told her that it was not my decision as to when the appointment would be. I simply shmoozed the person who makes those decisions. Professionally, I have huge ethical issues with people jumping the queues, favoritism and unequal access to a so-called universal health care system. However, as a mother, I will do absolutely anything it takes to get my daughter what she needs as quickly as possible. Wouldn't you?
Today I spoke to my colleague at the hospital who covers the pediatric floor. I asked her if the hospital does pediatric EEGs (brain scan) as there is some mild concern that M. has seizure activity. Turns out that my colleagues son has epilepsy and at age 18 he still sees a pediatric neurologist who happens to do EEGs, too. Score! A recommendation based on the personal experience of a nurse--how much better can it get? So, I called back the gastro and gave her secretary the info of this dr so M can be referred to her. Unfortunately, the gastro is apparently going away for a week and today is her last day at work. It was a different secretary that I spoke to this time, so no guarantees were given around whether the requisition would be signed today or in a week.
However, my colleague admonished me for jumping the queue to get my daughter in to see the gastro. I told her that it was not my decision as to when the appointment would be. I simply shmoozed the person who makes those decisions. Professionally, I have huge ethical issues with people jumping the queues, favoritism and unequal access to a so-called universal health care system. However, as a mother, I will do absolutely anything it takes to get my daughter what she needs as quickly as possible. Wouldn't you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)